Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
