He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
