Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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