Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
