Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
