Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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