Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
