yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he puts the penis in happiness.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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