The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
