the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
