I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
