Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
