I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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