jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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