friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
