seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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