Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
