umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
