Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
