Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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