the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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