This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Found the puke drawer
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
