they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
