hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
