Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
