i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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