bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
