I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
