Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
