when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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