I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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