This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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