He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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