Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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