do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
