let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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