just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
im six kinds of drunk right now
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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