I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Even my vagina gasped.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I will be naked everywhere
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
