I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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