i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
