i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
