Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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