i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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