Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
