Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
