I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
