do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
