In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
