This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
