Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
