I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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