Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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