I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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