i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
