I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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