I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
